Respect, and kindness. Not so very different from each other, are they?
In definition, perhaps. But not in execution.
You see, just like respect, everyone deserves kindness.
Yes, I am serious about that. Everyone in this world deserves kindness. Even those we call jerks and bullies. You never know what makes a bully the way they are. Perhaps it is because they never knew true kindness in their life, and so they decided to lash out instead. To make themselves look better by making others look far worse. And yet, in the end, both bully and victim are torn town and left with nothing but anguish and despair.
The philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson said "You can never do a kindness too soon, because you never know how soon it will be too late." And this is so terribly true. There are souls out there in our world right now, crying out for kindness. Some may never receive it. Some are driven to their graves by hopelessness.
How much does it cost us to show just a little kindness, just a little empathy for our fellow humans? Not nearly as much as people often think. Too many hold back because they worry about the monetary cost, or the time involved. How hard is it to just smile at someone? It takes about, what, three seconds for a smile to be created, and then registered by the other person? A quick hello, which is less than a second?
And should you decide that isn't enough, even just a small donation of time or money can make all the difference in the world.
But kindness should not be confused with charitable acts. Like respect, it should apply not just to certain situations, with certain needy people. It should be part of the everyday, part of the very fiber of our being. Kindness should be one of our core principles in any situation, no matter how hard our own life seems.
As with respect, let's try a sample case.
You're walking down the street, late one evening, close to Christmas. You are tired, not particularly feeling the Christmas spirit, and have spent the last five minutes calculating the interest you'll have to pay on the credit card you just racked up buying presents. Foolish, certainly, but you never seem to be able to get around to creating that Christmas savings club account you keep hearing about. Next year, you promise yourself. Next year, you'll be better. You'll do better. The masters of your destiny named Visa and Mastercard won't get the better of you anymore...
You pause, and groan inwardly. Not another one.
Standing on the next corner is a woman in a tattered coat. She has a small cardboard sign saying "Single mother with four kids, anything is appreciated". There is a bowl at her few, with just a few pitiful coins lying in the bottom of it.
From the back of the cluttered shelves of your memories comes a vague recollection of a news story about these beggars. The majority of them are professionals, who never lift a finger to do a bit of work even though they are perfectly capable. They choose instead to feed off of the generosity of others, laughing all the way to the bars to spend their tax-free gains while you slave away just to put food on the table.
You feel anger rising from deep within. You are highly tempted to give this woman a piece of your mind.
Now, let's look at the situation from the beggar's point of view.
It's late. Christmas is in three days, and thus far, you have managed to obtain only one small gift for your children. A used gift, at that. But at least it's better than last year, when you had nothing.
For the millionth time in the last year, you curse the sorry waste of breath that used to be your husband, who skipped out of town and vanished, leaving you to raise the children alone, including one special-needs child with mounting medical bills and very bleak prospects for the future. For a time, you considered putting them up for adoption, but you didn't. There was that nagging fear that they would insist on getting permission from the father as well, and that would bring him back into your lives, possibly with the result of more abuse, more threats, more pain.
No. Better to toil on alone, and give these children the security of your love, even if they have so little else.
You see a man approaching. You fight not to blush, knowing that your blouse is torn from a fight with another panhandler. Who knows what this passerby can see. It has been so long since you had to sell nearly everything you owned just to pay the rent. You have only two outfits, and the one you wore yesterday is soaked. And so you had to resort to this one. It is humiliating to you, a trained professional, to have to stand on a corner and beg for handouts.
Because of the children. Everything you do is for them.
Let's step back and take a look at this, shall we?
On the one hand, we have a man who is not in a great place financially himself, but he at least has the means to care for his family. He isn't in a very good mood, and he is already predisposed to think badly of those who beg for money. Even with the season of Christmas, the time of year when everyone is encouraged to be more kind, more giving, more loving, he has little reason to show kindness toward this woman that he thinks is a fraud.
Then there is the beggar, who has had very little kindness in her life lately. She was used to a reasonably good life, food on the table, a stable home, and a decent expectation for safety. And it was all torn away from her by a husband turned abuser. She has been thrown down the ladder of life, and too many have simply stepped over her on their way up. She doesn't expect anyone to act any differently. But there is still the slightest spark of hope in her. Hope that someone will show her just a little kindness.
So... what would you do? I am not going to finish this one. You write the ending. I think you know how this could play out. For good or ill.
If it were you, what would you do?
At the least, the man could give her a little money for her kids. That would be the most basic kindness she could ask for, and it would certainly help. But it could be so much more. And it wouldn't even take that much effort.
Let's make this situation a little harder, shall we? Suppose the man knew this woman. Suppose they had once been business rivals, and she had cost him dearly in his career. What should he do?
Forgiveness is another topic entirely. But it is inextricably interwoven with its sibling threads of kindness and respect.
There are people in this world who are hurting. Badly. Then there are some who may not be hurting so badly, but could still use a little encouragement. And there are those blessed souls who are trying to help, but cannot do it alone. You can make a difference. All it takes is just a little kindness. Just a little from each person, taken together, makes a lot.
And even if the only life you change is your own... isn't it still worth it?
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